Hmmm...Almost Didn't Post This Pathetic Rant From 2007...

All I've been able to think about is how no one came to my defense.

 

I realise it's a selfish, ego-driven, most likely damning way to be, but I can't help but think: "What if Brad had said, 'Hey, Tomyko, Chris has dedicated his life to art, studied abroad, has about a jillion books on art history - maybe we should give his opinion some weight.'"

 

It didn't happen though, and my poor choice to include rum in my diet Coke fueled an angry reaction to her dismissal of my opinion, and her audacity to bring the anti-papist Dan Brown's ill-informed ideas into my home.

 

I wish I had supportive friends. Friends who would at least appreciate the efforts of my artistic ambitions, if not the actual art. But I don't have those type of friends. I seem to be surrounded by people who almost relish bringing me down a notch or two whenever they have an opportunity.

 

There's no point in wallowing in self pity about it though, or in blaming what I think anybody else did or said. The thing to do is get pro-active, look hard at myself and discover the reasons for my reaction, and find people that have similar difficulties and viewpoints as mine, and who are positive about life and all it's mysteries, and can help me become a better person.

 

It's a big, big world, and I love it. It has given me so much to smile about almost every single day. I will be able exorcise the memory of that fateful minute on Friday night and remember the good hours that preceeded it in due time.

A List From 2007 - Things I Didn't Like

Sweet Jimmy Dean sausages, it's snowing. Snow and cold, and my new sod. I hope it survives. Kind of bums me out, watching the snow fall on my sod. I have high hopes for picnics and campouts on that sod - it is wonderfully comfortable to lay on, and smells great!

Thoughts about some things I don't like...

 

1) Hooters: The restaraunt. I hate this incredibly thin attempt to sell me bad wings by attempted manipulation of my libido. It's embarrassing being a male when you're dragged into the place by friends who like the experience. 

 

2) Strip clubs: See above. I like naked women as much as the next guy, but I don't like them trying to earn dollars by copping a squat in front of some brainless schmuck who could be denying his children groceries so he can take a peak at some bimbo's boobs.

 

3) The Designated Hitter: Come on already. Baseball players are supposed to hit the ball and then run around the bases. They get paid millions for it, so all of them should get off their asses and earn it. 

4) Dentists: Okay, I don't really dislike dentists, but I do dislike having to go to see one. Why can't teeth be made of something impervious to harm like rhino horn material or granite or something like that?

5) People Who Don't Recognize A Deal: Everybody likes a bargain, but it amazes me everyday when I meet people who do not recognize one. If I am selling the single lowest priced 4x4 truck on Autotrader within 300 miles, what in the name of Sam Hill makes you think you can come over to look at it with a flat-out mean attitude expecting me to lower the price by a grand? Did you not hear me when I said the price was set? Did you not read the words in the ad that explicitly stated the price was firm? Why waste my time ? Don't tell me you never pay full price - you paid $60.00 to fill up your Explorer, just like anyone else with one. 

6) Sports Injustices: Steve Garvey should be in the Hall Of Fame. For a decade he was the best at what he did. The very best, without steroids or supplements, just hard work, dedication, and love of the game.

7) Overzealous Clerks: Is it possible to just look around? I'm in sales, I understand that there are sales managers who think harrassing a customer gets the deal done, but I'll bet dollars to donuts that they would run away from just such a salesclerk. C'mon, leave me alone! I'll ask for help if I need it, promise! 

8) The Intolerant Liberal and the intolerant Conservative: Preaching tolerance and understanding while labeling anyone who doesn't agree with their viewpoint as racist, fascist, stupid, or fill-in-the-blank-phobic. Just because they swallow every bit of misinformation and propaganda the popular press shovels down their throats does not make them knowledgable or informed. 

9) Conspiracy Nuts: Please, please leave me alone. I don't care to hear theories about how the Republican Party staged 9/11, how the Democrats are manipulating the media, who really killed Kennedy, or how the Jews control the money supply. Really.  

 

10) The R.V.: What possessed me to go in on this deal? I must have been out in the sun for a particularly long time when this offer was put on my plate. I would rather get rid of this beast than lose twenty pounds!

I suppose I better get off my butt and get productive. Saturday morning is almost gone and I haven't accomplished a thing. Where's my to do list?

More About The Vegas Trip In March 2007

I drove straight back to Vegas from San Diego, stopping only for fuel (I didn't have to get any food, as Joe had made me a whole Pizza to take with me - it was delicious, too!).

 

I got in around 1:30 am or so, which was late, but still earlier than Jeff and Dan - they were at a poker tourney at the Mandalay Bay casino until 2:00 am. Jeff won $500.00, which, Jeff explained, covered the $400.00 dinner he & Dan had earlier in the evening ($285.00 wine bill - I'm beginning to think Jeff may have a wine problem - I know if I was spending that kind of cash on wine, it'd be a problem).

 

Friday morning Jeff, Dan, and I headed over to the tennis courts at Bally's for a tennis lesson (as opposed to, say, a fencing lesson) - I hadn't played tennis in twenty years, so I wasn't exactly overcome with enthusiasm for it, but what the hey, I could use the exercise.

The lesson was given by a woman of sixty, maybe sixty-five, who was as energetic as an eight-year old hopped up on caffiene fortified Mountain Dew. She was a retired professional tennis player who had once made it to the quarter finals of the U.S. Open, and though she didn't have the game she once had, she was still a very, very good tennis player.

She smoked my ass is what I'm saying here. Three hours of tennis, and she didn't break a sweat. I was all done in.

 

After tennis we headed back to the house. Jeff and Dan were still a bit tired from the night before, so they both were opting for naps. However, before jeff took a nap, he barbequed a few brats for lunch for us, and we sat around chatting for awhile. I told Jeff about my side trip to the abbey, and he got a little chuckle out of it - which I expected and accepted as an appropriate response all things considered.

 

I went to the gym to soak in the hot tub while Jeff and Dan napped. Evie had gone off to see a movie (Blades Of Glory, which she said was very funny). I had pretty much the same experience at the gym this time as previously - the hot tub was free of people though, which was nice - I didn't really want to sit in a hot tub full of cologne and perfume wearing posers.

 

When I got back to Jeff & Evie's it was time to get dressed - we were all going out to dinner with Peter and Darcy at Delmonico's at the Venetian. I put on the best clothes I brought and we were off.

 

Delmonico's is undoubtedly the single best restaurant I've ever eaten at. From the appetizers to the dessert, every single scrap of food was delicious. And the wine...oh my God. Peter's wine mentor is the Sommelier for Delmonico's (the Sommelier for Delmonico's is actually a Master Sommelier - there have only been 128 Master Sommelier titles awarded since 1976, so that is a pretty heady designation). We were served wine from four different areas of the world, and a true Spanish Sherry that was just incredible. I was overdosing on sensation, I swear.

 

Time flies when your having fun, and that night was no exception. We had sat down in the restaurant at 9:30 pm, and we didn't leave until 1:00 in the morning!

 

The next morning Jeff, Evie, Dan & I all had a great breakfast together. Then I had to get on the road back to Denver - over a week away from work, and I knew I would have a ton of catching up to do. I was right, and I still haven't caught up yet. But the trip was worth every minute of overtime I'm now putting in.

 

Vegas Trip In 2007

Vegas amazes me every time I visit, and I visit two or three times a year. Last October I was stunned at all the new developments in North Las Vegas, this trip I was stunned by all the developments in South Las Vegas - they never seem to stop building casino's!

That's one of the reasons I don't gamble much - Vegas isn't being built with contributions from winners.

 

Jeff and Evie were as usual the most gracious hosts ever. The first night, Jeff & I went to the Wine Cellar in the Rio casino. Peter, a friend of Jeff's I had met a few years ago, is the Sommelier for the Wine Cellar, and he treated me and three other friends of Jeff's (Ed, Brett and Darcy) to some absolutely terrific wines.

 

I think I would have to be drunk already to spend more than $20.00 on a bottle of wine, but let me tell you something - I seriously considered buying a $485.00 bottle of wine last week - it was that good. It was, if I remember correctly, a 2003 Screaming Eagle.

 

We also sampled a Harlan red, and two other wines - one a 98 pointer from Spain that was wonderful, and another red from Napa that I cannot remember the name of. My, that sounds so wine snobby!

 

All of it on the house - man, do I love knowing Jeff!

 

I saw the Monty Python show "Spamalot" Wednesday night, and also paid $28.00 for a hamburger at the Wynn casino. That's right, $28.00. For a hamburger. It was a very, very good burger.

 

Thursday morning, Jeff had to pick up his brother Dan at the airport. I figured Jeff & Dan would want to spend a little time together, so I decided that it would be a good idea for me to shoot down to San Diego to pay a visit to my Mother and maybe see my sisters Theresa & Kathy, and their respective families. I hadn't actually seen my Mother in a few years, and though she is reluctant to speak to me, it was actually high time I did go to see her.

 

Stating that my Mother and I do not get along is akin to stating that the world is a large round ball of dirt. My Mother has been dissappointed in me for going on twenty years - I'm not a Preist, I married outside the church, I divorced, went to art school, etc. - anything and everything I've done with my life has pretty much been wrong in her eyes.

 

Still, she did what she could to raise all of us right, making sure we stuck to school (at least through High School), and doing her best to instill some values into us. Most of the friends I had from the neighborhood I grew up in are strung out on drugs, in jail, or dead, so I have to give her credit for the job she did.

 

Seeing her was a bit of a trial. And tribulation - 'can't have trial without tribulation. Between teasing me for lack of a career in art (she harped on me for "wasting all that money going to art school for nothing". Ouch.), and questioning me relentlessly about why I really came by to visit (my Mother refuses to believe I just wanted to visit with her - she always insists there must be some other reason I came by), and myriad other small jibes. I barely held my tongue. I did manage to tell her I love her and that I was glad she was my mom, but when I left she was still taking digs at me.

 

I stopped in the new restaurant to see Theresa & her husband Joe, and their two children, Adriana and little Joey. Little Joey's not so little anymore though - he's 5' 9" at the age of twelve!

 

My niece Brittany, sister Kathy's daughter, was at the restaurant too, so I was able to see her as well. Kathy was working, so I missed her this trip - I couldn't afford to wait around much longer, as I wanted to be back in Vegas at a decent hour.

 

I'lll write about the rest of the trip later. I have to get moving on the lists of tasks I drew up this morning.

More About The Sod, Possibly From 2006

I love my sod. I went outside early this morning and walked barefoot across it, allowing the dew-covered blades to tickle my toes.

 

It was heavenly.

 

The back yard never had any coverage to speak of - just dirt, some weeds, maybe a few valiant blades of grass trying to make a go of it.

 

But now, now there is sod. Of the highest caliber. Grass as dense and fine as anyone could ever ask for. I feel like I live on a golf course now. And not some ordinary, run-of-the-mill public course either, but a high-fallutin' private course. Sweet.

 

That, of course, has got me worried. Worried about bugs, fungus, drought, and the dreaded lawn blight. Worried about lawn blight. Does a real man worry about lawn blight? Probably not. I have become less of a man, due to more of a lawn.

 

But man o' man, what a gorgeous lawn it is. Or rather more appropriately, area rug of lawn on my backyard of dirt.

 

What really makes it special is the work required to make it happen. I didn't actually grow the grass, but I lugged the sod around and have been nurturing it for what, a week now? That's worth something right there.

 

That's right. I'm a sod nurturer, and damn proud of it.

 

On another note, I was finally able to get a booth at the Brass Armadillo. John and I put the Thomasville dining room in there last night, and today I will load it up with a ton o' stuff to sell. Yay!

The Last Post Of 2006

I can't sleep. I have tried counting sheep, masturbating, reading, and even a little exercise, but nothing seems to work. I suspect my brother the Grill Sargeant's spicy, spicy chicken. I may have to resort to rum & coke.

Six interesting things I know:

1) Jon Bon Jovi briefly played bass for Scandal before he had his own band (1981)

2) Neil Young's father is in the Hockey Hall of Fame (as a sportswriter)

3) Rick James and Neil Young were in a band together in the mid '60's (The Mynah Birds)

4) Paul McCartney makes about a million dollars a day from royalties (he owns copyrights to over 3,000 songs), and is worth over a billion.

5) I play guitar worse than John McEnroe. (That's not something I wish I didn't know, that's just me facing up to reality).

6) I really don't like Neil Young, though all my hip friends do.

What is it about cheesecake that makes it irresistable? I want some cheesecake right now, but I don't have any. And the problem with that is, to get good cheesecake I would have to go to one of three trusted restaurants (Cheeecake Factory, Dardano's. amd Zizzo's) to get it, and none of them are open. I will not go to King Soopers or Safeway for cheesecake.

Dialogue I like from Breakfast At Tiffany's:

Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds? 

Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Paul: Sure.

Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

There is a song by Kelly Sweet in my head that I can't get rid of. I willl have to track it down on the net and listen to it over and over and over and over...

I never got Star Trek. I have friends who are obsessed with that show - it bewilders me, and if you've ever been bewildered, you know how....What is it about that show? Uhura is hot, but the stars, Kirk, McCoy, Spock - are all very wooden and somewhat comical. I find it hard to watch an episode of that show without laughing.

All the stuff I liked in 2006:

Favorite book read that year (should have been read for the first time in 06 but does not need to have been published that year): Sacred Causes: The Clash of Religion and Politics, From the Great War to the War on Terror by Michael Burleigh. I I really liked Phillip Roth's most recent novel too.

Favorite album heard/purchased that year (does not have to be released that year): Robyn Hitchcock Ole! Tarantula

Song of the Year (Paul Westerberg): Right To Arm Bears

Song of the Year (other): Panic! At The Disco, The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage

Favorite magazine: Modern Drunkard

Favorite Movie: Casino Royale

Favorite televised moment:

Drama: The introduction of Connie Nielsen as Detective Beck on Law & Order: SVU. Something about strong women gets me all goose-bumply.

Comedy: The claymation hallucination episode of My Name Is Earl with Christian Slater as a burned out stoner.


Favorite pop radio guilty pleasure: Steady, as She Goes The Raconteurs. Yeah, it's contrived and all, but it sounds so much like Split Enz it takes me back to my misspent youth.

Favorite YouTube contributor: TheDrugstoreArchives

Okay, now i'm getting tired. Must be the rum & coke. l'm going to go to bed, and try to get some quality slumber time in.

Before I hit the pillow though, I leave this last quote:

"Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing."

Now name the actor and the movie.

More About Sod From 2006

The sod adventure has grown to near over-whelming proportions. As noted in the first blog entry, I assumed would be procuring just a small sample of the football field turf, as a novelty of sorts, something I could point out to friends and claim as being the very piece of turf where rookie quarterback Jay Cutler lost his cookies, or something like that.

 

However, after delivering all the sod that sister Patti wanted to her home, I discovered there was a lot of the stuff left for the taking, so instead of a small bit, I ended up with five truckloads of the stuff.

 

Five freakin' truckloads. That is a lot of sod.

 

Fortunately for me, I can actually put the five truckloads to good use, as I do not have much to brag about in the backyard at all, just a lot of weeds and dirt.

 

Unfortunately for me, it also means a whole heckuva lot of work. Just getting all the sod into the backyard was backbreaking - each roll weighing anywhere from 125 to 150 pounds. I'm not a lightweight by any means, but I'm now inclined to believe that toting 60 rolls of sod would qualify as one of those World's Strongest Man stunts that ESPN2 has on at 3:00 in the morning.

 

My neighbor Rob came over when I was starting to unload the last truckload,which was very much appreciated. Brad, John, and Tom showed up after we finished - yes, the minute the last roll was off-loaded, those three show up, beers in hand, chock full of advice on what I needed to do to prepare the yard.

 

Rob, John and Brad all actually had sod experience, so I did heed what they had to say. Fred, the neighbor with the most enviable lawn in the neighborhood, came over too with advice as well, but as he moved into a home with a lawn to envy, he really didn't have much to contribute.

 

The first order of business, it was decided, was to rototill the area I was going to sod. So John and I got out the rototiller (purchased 3 years ago for $80.00 at a hardware store's clearance of rental equipment - it has rototilled lawns at John & Brad's, my sister Patti's old house, Carl's house in Thornton, and even Carl's parent's house in Chicago - and now, finally, mine), and set about getting it operational.

 

Fresh oil, gas, and then setting the depth adjustment guage...except the depth adjustment guage was broken. Oh well, how important can that be? I'd just eyeball the depth of the blades...

 

Right. I had to wrestle that stupid depth-guageless rototiller like a wild bronco. Took me a good eight hours to get the job done, and I think I lost twenty pounds - which triggered the idea of marketing rototilling as a weight-loss routine. I could see it clearly in my mind, legions over overweight people plowing up their backyards with depth-guageless rototillers. Of course it soon hit me that it would have to be available in pill form somehow, as it seems actual physical activity is shunned by those who want to lose weight.

 

The rototilling done, I collapsed in exhaustion on the deck steps, barely able to hold the cold Coors Light in my hand, much less get it to my lips.

 

 I had to rest for almost thirty minutes before I had the energy to clean up.